Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Where Do You Turn?
Barking! The sound draws me straight up. I can hear it from 50 miles away. Lizzie's asthma is flaring or she is sick and it's gone straight to her chest. And yet, in comparison with so many I'm meeting in Liver Land, thanks to my friends who have children who fight Biliary Artresia, we are lucky.
We don't live in the hospital. We used to have a small army of specialists and teachers working with her to help her with her Asthma, Allergies, Autism Spectrum Disorder and Amblyopia. Those are a lot of A's there. While we worry and wonder what the future holds for our girl, none of it comes even close to those battling cancer, BA, or many diseases that ravage and destroy children and families everywhere.
And yet, while we don't face the same diagnosis, we are finding kindred spirits in Liver Land, Cancer Land and other disease. Our children and loved one face different challenges, but it all still rings true. Parents scared for their children. Parents left to watch helplessly as we leave our children in the hands of doctor's and nurses, teachers and therapists, people who become our families away from our families.
We all face challenges. No ones challenge is worse or better when you break it down to a simple truth. Someone we love is sick, different, or both. From Downs Syndrome to B.A. to Autism to Preemies, we all have to fight to let God have our children.
As a parent our first instinct is to try and fix it, but what do you do when you can't fix what's going on in your child? What do you do when everything that needs to be done, has been done, and it either hasn't made the connection yet or it hasn't worked? Where do you turn?
Of all the things we battle with Lizzie, we have found one truth fundamentally necessary. We have to give her to God and trust that his plan for her is bigger than our own. And in some ways this is terrifying, but in others it calming. If God can create the Earth in seven days, send his son to us via a virgin and even walk on water or heal those who are ill, what can't he do for our babies.
There really isn't a main rhyme or reason in this post, just thoughts racing in my head.
Where do you turn when it all feels like it's consuming?