Tuesday, July 3, 2012
When you are single and young, you imagine many things. You imagine what Prince Charming will look like, you imagine what your wedding will look like. You dream of homes, the life you hope to live and you dream big. Never in those dreams do you dream about poop. Never when you are in high school do they tell you that one day you will have a child and your life will be consumed with the concern for another person's poop.
Then it happens. You meet someone, maybe he is Mr. Right maybe not - if you are lucky your partner is awesome and there for you. Believe me, you are going to need it - because once you become a parent you find yourself doing things you never thought you would. You find yourself worrying about whether or not another person is pooping like they should. And that is just your partner - never do you imagine you will intentionally smell someone's pants and see if they are finished pooping. When you are a parent you worry about diapers, diaper rash, wet wipes - are they organic or non - organic, are they causing your child to break out in diaper rash. Should you use Desitin or the other brands of butt gunk to sooth the red heiney your child is sporting. How many pounds of potty do you let the diaper absorb before it's had enough (just kidding, I never did that).
Then you work on potty training this new individual. If you are lucky, they potty train quickly. If you are me, Lizzie's mom, you spend a year banging your head against the wall only to have her suddenly put the pieces together after Daddy comes home for war and he smirks and asks, "What's so tough about potty training." If he's lucky you don't throw something at his head because you just spent the last year gaining new gray hairs and trying to potty train a child who apparently wanted her Daddy more than you.
Then they become verbal, they can talk to you and you think. Oh Good I don't have to worry about poop anymore. Right? WRONG!!! Not pooping is a problem, pooping too much is a problem, is their blood in their poop (that's more for your partner than your kids if you are lucky), are they feeling okay. Is their tummy upset or is it that your stir fry just happens to make an excellent colonic. And this is during the time when a rotovirus or some stomach flu bug is going around causing vomiting and diarrhea.
This week, we worried about poop twice. First, Beka ate too much fruit and freaked out when she "pooped too much." then we visited the Emergency Room with Lizzie. I thought it was a Urinary Tract Infection but alas, no - she is constipated. So again I am concerned with poop only this time it is how to get it to started. Fiber One makes great tasting bars to help with this issue, stool softeners are an answer and apple juice is also a great laxative. The only thing I haven't tried yet? Ex-Lax. Oh and lots and lots of water!
At this point I have to laugh, because if you don't laugh you might cry. Tummies are still upset, husbands still need to take it easy with the stir fry and little Bekaboo's need to lay off the fruit. Although, on the bright side, at least I don't have to worry about getting Beka to go, just Lizzie and I will gladly take this one for the team.
I must confess though I do wonder will there ever be a day when I don't worry about other people's poop.
Have a good week.