Friday, May 4, 2012

What is Love?

Have a husband and a child who come from abusive backgrounds, means I learn a lot about how blessed I was to have my family.  Mom may have raised us on very little, but she loved us a lot and she did little things to do that. Sometimes she'd work under the table for a friend and purchase material and make us clothing, or she'd bake our favorite foods.  She may have yelled occasionally, but we usually deserved it, and being a single mom isn't an easy job.  I did it for two years, and I at least had an end in sight, she didn't have an end in sight, it was all her until we were 18 years old and off to college, or out on our own.

When Sarah came to live with us, her basic needs were met, for the most part, but her mom was working as a single parent to make ends meet and sometimes things were sparse.  Including time with Mom, being a single parent isn't easy, but when you are a small girl, you don't always get that. 
So when Sarah came to live with us, it was a new experience for her.  Chris worked, but I stayed at home.  I cook and cooked a lot, which took a bit for her to get used to, because she ate a lot of microwave meals before.  And I tried to make Friday nights special nights for the girls.  Chris worked and still works second shift so it was usually just us.  We tried to have sleepovers, baked goods in the morning (muffins anyone?!) and this continued for a while.  But I always thought this was the stuff Mom's do for kids.   It was in one conversation with Sarah I realized this was not always the case.

A year after Sarah moved in, we were going to the store one evening to get some supplies probably or meeting my mom for dinner at Spangles ("It just tastes better!" according to the commercial and Lizzie).  Sarah looked at me and asked, "Why do you spoil me?"  I was a little confused, so I had to ask her to explain what she meant.  "You bake muffins if I want muffins, you make my favorite foods, you get me stuff when we go to Target from the dollar bin and you are always home when I get home from school."   Anger washed over me, not anger at Sarah but that she had never had an example until she came to live with us about the little things you do for someone when you love them.  It passed if a few moments and I explained I wasn't spoiling her, I was loving her and it is in doing the little things you know someone you love likes that you show them you love them.   

In life, love does not always mean grandiose gestures.  Sometimes love is in the little things.  Cooking dinner for your love, wearing a favorite perfume or outfit that you know they like, maybe it is baking a favorite dessert.  Finding the little things that make a person you love happy says, I love you enough to pay attention to the things that make you happy

I hope you all have a good weekend.  We are having movie night, pancakes with chocolate chips, popcorn and a camp out in our living room tonight.  It's Friday night after all.

In Christ,

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