I saw an interesting sitcom on Netflix. "Til Death" is about a young newlywed couple and an older married couple. Each couple is different, the newlywed couple are very positive and upbeat, but also learning how to live together. The older couple fight a bit, and have a similar division of labor in their house that Chris and I share.
Chris is great about going to work, making sure he spends quality time with each of the girls, giving tons of hugs, being an attentive husband. All of which are very important to keeping our household running smoothly. I am kind of a jack of all trades, chauffeur, chef, nurse, Dr. Mom, therapist, cheerleader, teacher, hug and kiss giver. I also pay the bills, take care of supper and the girls and I all clean up (okay, except Beka), Sarah and Lizzie are in charge of garbage.
The thing is, I was watching this episode and the wife literally did it all and the husband griped because he became the master of the cappuccino? She put him in charge of the bills and had to take it back. He kept juggling everything around and suddenly she couldn't purchase groceries, use the phone, find the channels, etc. . . she took them back to save her sanity.
I found it rather humorous, but it also got me thinking. What is the division of labor in your house? Do you feel you do more than your spouse? Does this actually bother you? More importantly do you feel your spouse appreciates all that you do?
I know Chris definitely appreciates it all, he makes it a point to tell me how much and as often as he can. And while labor wise at home it seems unequal, in other ways it's not unequal. Chris is a very hard working man, and he is trying to finish college too. He is working 40 or more hours a week (usually) more, so we can make it financially here in Washington, he goes to school full time at an online school (Grantham University) and is planning to go after his Master's Degree in Divinity when he is finished. He also makes it a point to take Sarah at on Thursday evenings each payday, he also makes sure he spends time with Elizabeth and Rebekah AND he keeps our cars running, toilets unclogged, drain tubes in the kitchen and bathroom working right. He makes sure he is good about watching out for me, when I am very fatigued, if I am sick he takes excellent care of me and he does his best to meet my emotional needs. While all of this sounds like things every husband should do, it's tougher on my husband. He is a Veteran of two deployments and has Traumatic Brain Injuries (from his first deployment) and struggles with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He makes sure he takes his medicine regularly and that he uses his Alpha Stem Machine which helps his neurons we wire properly and he does his best to stay calm, mellow and even keeled. He may not always succeed, but he works very hard and does a good job taking care of us.
So the next time you want to gripe, ask yourself, instead of what they don't do, what does your spouse do for you? It may not be the everyday mundane tasks he/she does for you, but sometimes those little things that make up from small things into larger and bigger pictures.
Have a great week.