Saturday, July 30, 2011

Friends with Benefits?

I was reading an article today and it was discussing how newly divorced people sometimes have "Friends with Benefits." Now this article was discussing people who got together with another person to have sexual encounters and didn't do much else, but have sex. I think a few things have changed since I got married almost 11 years ago.

When I was in college if you had a friend with benefits, it meant a guy/girl friend (depending on your gender of course) who you went to the movies with, or out to dinner, just hung out so you two didn't have to do things alone. For me it also meant I had this friend over for suppers sometimes or to watch a movie at my place. I provided a car and he provided the money for the movie (since we were both poor college students it meant minus popcorn and other assorted goodies which worked fine for us both). We had a good time, laughed joked, sometimes introduced the other to fun things we enjoyed doing. For example: my friend taught me how to play Jurassic Park and I took him to some of the neat sights around the Oklahoma City area. We spent a good deal of time together - yes we had chemistry, but we both knew it wouldn't work out. There were certain things in our personalities that made a relationship between us not a great idea. He was a very nice man, and I liked him a lot and still am friends with him on Facebook, but we never dated seriously or kissed for that matter.

So I guess I'm wondering, how do people do "Friends with Benefits" and not become emotionally attached? I must be old fashioned, but sex is very personal and private for me, not to mention there are stretch marks, and gastric bypass scars that only mean something to Chris. I know I don't want another man to see me in the all together, since those scars won't mean the same thing to him and he won't really appreciate how I gained my war wounds.

If you found yourself suddenly single would you have a "friend with benefits" or would you prefer to remain single and alone for a while? If you did decide to do this, under what circumstances would you consider having a "friend with benefits?" Or are you like me, sex is too personal for you? Not my typical blog I know, but it got me thinking. In a society where sex is no longer truly valued as something sacred between a man and wife where would you choose to draw a line? In asking these questions do you find that the world today has chiseled away at what you used to think was black and white or is this a gray area for you?

Love in Christ,

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