Saturday, April 2, 2011

Dear Washingtonians!

Dear People of the State of Washington, We are so happy to have discovered your lovely state. The greenery, the trees, the water, and even the rain is wonderful. We are enjoying your Pike Place Market, Whidbey Island, and the fact that unlike Wichita, KS (where we originate from) your streets actually make sense. We have enjoyed meeting the lovely people and making new friends for the whole whopping week we have been here. However, and this is a big HOWEVER!!!! We do not enjoy your traffic. So here are a few things we've noted in the small amount of time. 1. Rubber necking - you know that thing you all seem compelled to slow down (which is dangerous enough in itself) and look at the accident. It seems that you are completely oblivious to the fact, that when others have to slam on their brakes so they can too can do two things 1.) refrain from rear-ending you and 2.) also rubberneck/ fine we'll call it gawking if you don't know what the term rubbernecking is - the said accident. News flash - it is dangerous and it makes us completely insane!!!!!!!!! Slowing down to 40 miles per hour so you can look at an accident which slows and hinders traffic to only have it open up after you've successfully looked at the accident is just plain NUTS!!!!!!!! 2. It's the long skinny pedal on the right, not the short fat one on the left. Learn how to use it for the love of everything good and true. Driving 30 in a 40 is infuriating to those of us who know how to drive and makes my husband want to ram you with the front of my minivan. This is bad - very bad. I really love my car - I've waited a long time to find the right minivan that God wanted me to have. If you knew how often I had to put up with the pieces of junk my husband chose or he purchased cars we couldn't afford and so we were in too deep - then you would understand why if he rams the front of my van into the back of your car in anger and fury, I am going to be the one you deal with and I assure you it will not be pretty. Because as much as I love the minivan, we take our children with us everywhere and they are more precious to us than the car. Smack down will happen and you will find out how the Midwest raises it's women - tough and terrible to deal with! 3. The turn signal - learn about it, live it and learn to love it!!! Please. Swerving in and out of traffic or almost ramming the side of my van will again result in the aforementioned consequences I wrote of in point number 2. 4. While your traffic makes me nuts, your price gouging makes me even crazier. Excuse me, but if your average family's income is $45,000 - $55,000 a year - it makes absolutely no sense to gouge them in the housing department! In fact, you are just contributing to those who end up needing state assistance to make ends meet. Are we the only ones who see the insanity in this? I happen to know that no we are not the only ones. So why not finally put some state representatives and congressmen in who will actually insist on lower housing rates. Thank you and good evening. Love in Christ, Maureen P.S. While what I am writing is accurate of our feelings about the traffic - it is meant to be humorous - so please take it in that light.

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