Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Marriage and Perspective

I went with my handsome and wonderful husband today to meet with a couple he is performing a wedding for on Saturday. Yes, I realize most of you don't know that my husband can perform weddings, but he can and he does from time to time. Ironically, as we left the restaurant today and headed to mall for Chris to complete an eye exam for Boeing, we chatted about this couple and as luck would have it, I happened to read an article from Reader's Digest.

This article talked about how perspective plays a big part in marriage. Scientists conducted a study and found that when a couple told the same story it depended on perspective. They showed how two different women told the same story. The first woman shared how they had gone on a hike for their first date and they had gotten lost and how they laughed and joked about their poor sense of direction but ultimately in the end they both realized they shouldn't go hiking again. The second woman told the same story, but her version was how HE lost the map and it was a terrible day and how after that day she knew she never wanted to go hiking again. Notice the difference? Each woman had a similar story, but it wasn't what they said, it was how they said it and scientists discovered that even though some newlywed couples hardly argued, it didn't mean they would stay together. In fact, the couples who were bickering during the first part of the study (it was followed up three years later) were actually still together, but the couples who sat quietly and hardly ever argued had usually split up.

I have a friend who is now into her third year of marriage and her husband told her, "You know how Koeppel and his wife tell each other everything? I could never do that." It may come as no surprise that this couple is having serious marital issues and is contemplating divorce.

As we sat and talked to the young couple today, I shared with them how we had friends who said, they could never have a relationship like ours. I also told them that it didn't happen overnight, it came with time and that we sometimes bicker, but we wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Trust and security come over time. It didn't come overnight. Our deep trust in each other came as we grew closer and began to know each and trust each other. Chris and I may disagree, but we still talk about it and we often find the humor in the situations that have caused us to bicker.

I hope you all have a great week and God Bless you.

Love in Christ,

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