Friday, February 11, 2011

Stubborn Pride

My senior year in high school was a good year for me. I finally had my first serious boyfriend. For privacy reasons we'll call him John. My mom tried to discourage me from being so serious but in my foolishness and my stubborn wants and desires, I didn't listen. I ended up being with John for almost three years and he spent another three jerking me around like a puppet on a string. My mom used to loath him, she felt like he had robbed me of some of my best years, but the truth is, my own stubborn pride and thinking of myself and what I wanted cost me that time. It was me that made the choice to not listen to my mother's wisdom and in doing so, it took me a long time to recover from the consequences.

I tell this story, because Sarah has a boyfriend. His name is unimportant at this time - he is a nice kid. He is courteous and respectful, but he isn't the right one for her. We know this, Sarah like, Chris and I and her mom, Kate is a strong personality and when you have such a strong will, it is vitally important that you be equally yoked in many ways with your partner. Tonight (Friday evening), we allowed Sarah to have boyfriend over and he was nice, they had a good time, and of course, I was here the whole time chaperoning. So imagine our surprise when I teased her a little about holding hands with him (I wasn't happy about it, really) when she informed us that when we had allowed her to go to church with her friends that he had finally worked up the courage to hold her hand in church.

We are moving - this is an inevitable thing - even if the job with Boeing falls through and we're pretty sure it won't. We will be moving - it means Chris will find an Active Guard Reserve (AGR) job or something to keep us going, but moving day is coming at some point in time. Getting something started at this point is a very bad idea. Any adult whose gone through life, knows what I am talking about and so I have tried to talk to her and yet she refuses to listen.

All of this got me thinking. . . how often does God try to lead us and show us His will and we ignore Him? We do what it is we want to do and make a mess of things only to cry out to him to rescue us because we get in over our heads? If God feels even more frustrated than I do with Sarah at this point, then I am humbly sorry for being a source of frustration? So often we try to be the ones in control, when what we need to be doing is trusting the Lord with our lives. Proverbs 3:5 & 6 tells us; "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." And yet we go on trying to do it ourselves. I know that as we mature and begin the path into adulthood, that it is difficult to listen to the adults around us. I was a teenager once as well, I struggled and clawed and fought against my mother, trying to reach adulthood as she worked so hard to protect me from myself and the world. In these moments, all I can say is, "I'm sorry Mom for being so prideful and willful and not listening to you." I get it now and I understand how frustrating it must have been watching me make mistakes. While the world would have us believe that making mistakes is a part of life - God has different plans for our lives. He longs for us to seek his guidance and counsel and when we do this and listen to what He has to say to us, that is when life falls into place. It isn't always neat and perfect, because trials will come no matter what happens and no matter how much we trust in Him - it is how we grow spiritually and learn to persevere.

I hope you have a good weekend.

Love in Christ,

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