Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Conviction and Ephiphanies

Today's devotional time was interesting. I enjoy reading Isaiah - okay maybe enjoy is a bit strong, but I am wading through it, slowly but surely. After reading Isaiah, I wandered over into Psalms. Interestingly enough I chose to start with the first Psalm and received conviction.

Psalm 1:1
" Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the ways of the sinner
or sit in the seat of the mockers."

Seat of the mockers? Ouch! I know I am guilty of this. In fact, I am certain of it. You would think I would know better than to do that since I was often on the receiving end of being mocked. But it appears that even I am susceptible to falling into this trap of mocking others (even if they are people who will never read my blog or Facebook page). So I looked it up in Webster's Dictionary to define what exactly does it mean to mock someone. This is what I found - "mock: to treat others with contempt or ridicule." It also means, " to mimic in sport or derision." I am guilty of this. Wow, so much for working on holding my tongue. I realized that even if I don't openly mock someone on Facebook or to my friends/husband/ or family (come on we've all had thoughts of contempt or derision towards that person who makes us nuts by doing something that is less than smart) that it is still mocking people. And I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that one. It also made me think back to the fact that one of my favorite characters on Friends, is Chandler. He's funny, he mocks people - even those he loves. They don't take it personally, but there are times when they don't like it and you can tell. Interesting that our society now considers it a good thing to openly mock people now. Hmmmm . . . this is definitely something to pray about, that God will help me to no longer mock people whether I know them or not. After all aren't we called to be in the world, but not of the world?

This brings me to my second portion of this day. While meditating on this I began thinking about the fact that I am struggling to figure out what area of Psychology I want to study for my doctorate. And I realized something. I don't want to be a Psychologist. It is a noble profession and those who pursue it make wonderful contributions to society and individuals. However, I know this about me, I have spent years cleaning up other people's messes in some way or another and I don't really relish the idea of doing that for a living. Nor do I necessarily like science and doing scientific research. As Elizabeth would say, "It's not my favorite" thing to do, in fact, I really truly loath it. I took Biology because I needed to for my general requirements, however, I didn't really enjoy it - at least not the lab section.

This is what I know. I could be a psychologist and I could do a good job at it. I could even be a therapist if I chose to not pursue a doctorate in Psychology. However, it isn't what I really like to do. I like writing. I've enjoyed it for years. I love putting words together and painting written pictures for others to enjoy and read. I like reading and learning new things. So after realizing this and talking to Chris I am changing my major for college. Even though I am really close to finishing my Psychology degree (I have 2 semesters left), I know that I could finish, but it isn't really where my heart lies and if I do finish it, I will regret it. However, if I pursue my Bachelor's in English, I can take that and pursue my passion. By the way it also means I can work from home, which gives me the necessary flexibility to be there for the girls and especially for Elizabeth if life is giving her an especially tough time.

So this was my morning and this all occurred prior to 10 a.m. Interesting, I know, and yet, still true.

What are you feeling convicted about? Are you a mocker? Do you get pleasure from openly making fun of others stupidity or poor choices? I know I am guilty of this very things. Something I intend to stop today. No matter how tempting it may be at the time. It is easy to open our mouths and speak words but once they are out in the open, you cannot take them back.

I hope you all have a good week.

Love in Christ,

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