Wednesday, January 5, 2011

An Uneventful Day

If you read my blog, you know Christmas and spending time with my family are some of my favorite things.
So while an uneventful day may seem boring to some, I will relish it immensely.
Growing up we moved quite a bit. It wasn't the original plan, and sometimes we moved to different houses in the same city, but it made for chaos in our lives. I also spent a lot of years never having the same circle of friends each year in school. Differing school schedules made it difficult to remain friends with the same group each year. This continued on in college too sometimes until I was older and found a good niche of friends who I still talk to even now.
So imagine my surprise when I married a man who put down roots and we didn't move. We've lived in the same house for ten years now and I confess it's odd to me to remain in one place, much less one home for that period of time. And yet I find solace in the mundane - it's nice to not worry about someone else and their drama (unless it's my teen daughter's) or to know a city so well I can actually be the one who gives directions to others.
These seem like innocuous things to some people, but to me they are new and exciting.
I had a flat mate in Sicily who once told me God's will wasn't for my life to be chaos it was only for good things to happen to me. I didn't believe her then, I'm not certain I believe it now. It is in the trials I have face and gone through that I have learned humility, compassion, empathy for others and many other lessons. I've learned how to tell who is really your friend and who isn't; I'm still learning when to walk away and when to hold on, but I think we all struggle with that life lesson. So while I may not rejoice in the trials when I face them at that time, as I look back, I'm not sorry that I have faced them. Through these trials, I can understand my older daughter, Sarah and her situation. Growing up in chaos and moving so much enables me to understand why it was such a draw to her to live with us in a house and not an apartment or trailer. I am able to empathize with her when she talks about some of the garbage that happens at school and I can understand when friends call me because their child has received a diagnosis that leaves them breathless and reeling or suffer the loss of a parent. While losing a parent, moving around a lot, having friends betray your and dealing with the grief process when your child is diagnosed as special needs or in need of major intervention are not my idea of a good time. I still wouldn't trade any of it in for a happy go lucky life where my life is cheery and happy and with minimal heartache. The life I used to yearn for in college is no longer the life I yearn for now as an adult and mother. It leaves me well equipped to help others and I would not give those things back for any the money in the world.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the experiences you give us. Even if we don't like it while going through the refining fire to be made into your beautiful mess, thank you for the rewards afterwards. Thank you for promising that your grace is sufficient and that you won't give us more than we can handle. Thank you for all of the blessings you give to us each and everyday - especially when they have blonde hair and blue eyes that sparkle at us with love and laughter. Keep teaching us Lord, to grow closer to you and to die to our own selfish desires. Thank you for not always giving us what we want but exactly what we always need - even if we don't realize it was You at the time.
Have a good week - Happy Wednesday!
Love in Christ,

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