As we approach one year since Chris has returned home we also come upon a mile marker. As it stands, if Chris is unable to find work by February 13th he will officially have been unemployed for one full year.
This has been a tough year, but also a good year in ways. While financially it means we struggle, it also means that the girls get to see a lot of their dad. Chris and Sarah's relationship was rocky prior to deployment and they have really made some amazing progress. Chris gets to see Elizabeth and Beka off to school each day and has had a good time playing around with them and learning what makes them tick. It has been wonderful to not be the sole person responsible for running the house.
But as we approach this mile marker, it also means that we face unknowns. Our pastor preached a week ago about Mark 4:35-41 and how Jesus calmed the storms and encourages the Disciples. He raises his hands and calms the sea and it reminded me of two songs. One I used to sing in church called, "Peace Be Still" and the other I don't remember all the words, but I remember this poignant phrase in the chorus, "Sometimes he calms the storm and other times he calms his child." Great songs and both promise that God is with us even in the midst of storms. He also touched on James 1 when James rights about how we should rejoice when we go through trials, because without trials and tribulation our faith cannot grow. It was refreshing to hear a pastor admit that he doesn't always rejoice when going through tough times and that he didn't think James meant we rejoice when it's happening, but afterwards we can rejoice, because it was an opportunity to grow.
This is a time of uncertainty and I have to confess I am worried a bit. I worry about what will happen to our family. Are we going to lose our home? What about the girls - what if we lose everything, will they know hunger. I remember reading about the Great Depression and how families were torn apart and sometimes never reunited. There are times when having a very active imagination is not a good thing - and this is one of them. For now we are safe and happy, and I am clinging with every fiber of my being to trust in God and to remember that He promised us in Matthew that he takes care of the flowers of the field and the birds of the air, so how much more will He care for His children.
As I write this, I also know that we both feel a sense that God has something planned. We aren't sure what that plan is at this time, but we sense it coming and we pray and hear, "Wait." So for now we wait in the Lord and trust (albeit it sometimes a tough thing to do) that God's plan is for our good and not for our harm.
You give us so many promises in your word. Thank you for providing for our needs even if it isn't always congruent with our wants. Thank you that you promise us in your word that you will take care of us. Help us all as we waiver during these tough economic times. Be with Chris as he struggles with the desire to provide for our family. No matter where you send us, or what you have in store of your children, we choose to place our faith in you and that you are sovereign over us all. Help quiet my worries, my concerns for the girls you've blessed us with. Be with us and guide us so that you may shine and the world will know that You are God and you are worthy of praise.