Chris has been facing some pretty nasty political things overseas lately. None of which he would like me to share, but like any job, politics are always involved.
The long and the short of it is this. Chris has been very stressed out and not sleeping well. Honestly, I might not have worried so much, except that if it was enough to make him worry, then it makes me worry.
The good news is that the situation at hand has been resolved. So for those of you who prayed for him, thank you.
This all got me thinking - especially since lately I've been in a funk - I get very introspective when these spells come on. How does stress affect us and how is it that afterwards we find ourselves fighting the duldrums? There is arguing, there is stress, there are moments of joy that go on for a long period of time and at the end we find ourselves in a valley. Why is that, do you think? I don't have any answers really, I am sure I could go research it and there is some medical reason. But this is more rhetorical. Okay maybe not - it's probably linked to parasympathetic overshoot. When a person suffers from prolonged periods of stress it triggers the sympathetic nervous system which controls our fight/flight responses. If the sympathetic is in overdrive it then causes our parasympathetic nervous system to also go into overdrive once the levels of stress have dissipated.
How do I know this? Well I was a psychology major. Now here is the question - if parasympathtic overshoot can cause us to become physically ill, then doesn't it also make sense that it can mean we fall into depression once the stressors have alleviated?
Okay I'll stop with the physiology lesson. Mainly I just needed to work this out so I could understand the cycles of being fine and then cycling into a few days where I'm not so fine. I'm not abusing the kids, I am just at a place where "I Vant to Be Alone" to coin a phrase. And no, that is not the best time for me to go to church. When people grieve or are depressed they say things they normally wouldn't say. I discovered the hard way during Chris' last deployment - a depressed Maureen is not a good social Maureen. For crying out loud, I told one of my friends that her daughter was homely! Of course, once she told me this I was mortified and apologized profusely, but once something comes out of your mouth, you can't take it back. Words that are written can be destroyed, burned, deleted even, but orally - well once you say it to someone you have pretty much sealed your fate.
There isn't a real point to this blog really. I think I am mainly processing everything and trying to puzzle it all out for my own needs. It is who I am, I need to understand things to put them to rights in my head and emotionally. Even if I don't get an apology, for me understand where a person was coming from when they do something stupid or said something hurtful, helps me let it go and move on.
I hope you all are having a good week.