Wednesday, September 23, 2009

An injustice!

I have two friends on Facebook - okay make it three who are single. Now if they are happy then great, but they all three put that they are looking for relationships on their info page. All three are amazing individulas with great personalities and yet they are still single. It makes me wonder, how is this possible?

Have we as a society really gotten so bogged down in physical appearance that those who are amazing individuals on the inside and outside can be overlooked whiles actors who are pleasing to the eye but morally bankrupt, them we put so much stock in?! How is possibly right? How can people who are great individuals with good hearts still remain unmarried when they have so many amazing qualities about them?

I remember being in class during college and some girls were laughing about one of these individuals. And you know what, this man is an amazing man. He takes what God said about taking care of the fatherless children to heart. He loves kids, God, and only wants to serve God and help others. Yet, because he acted goofy and is not what today's society deems physically attractive these girls were mocking him and making fun of him. I remember being so angry and turning to them and telling them off, because while I wasn't attracted to him and didn't see him that way (he is a good friend, but no sparks were present then or now) I found it outrageous that they thought they could tear this man down and disparage him in this way. Sadly, this man who they mock is still single. I'm also equally sure that he is still an amazing man of God who wants nothing more than to serve him. So Scotty Bauer - I will pray that God sends you a woman worthy of your admiration because you are a good man and deserve a woman who loves God as much as you do.

My other two acquaintances, I will pray the same prayer for you, but I'll allow you to remain nameless.

These are not really questions I expect people to answer. They are more rhetorical than something I want people to respond to for the time being.



Wow what a difference! I would like to tell you that I don't remember that time, but I do. It's not hard to forget being so heavy that spraining your ankle means you are screwed because you are too big for your husband to carry you. I look at that, and it makes me so determined to fight so I don't go back there again. That was not a good place for me - health wise or emotionally - when you are that big you always wonder if your spouse is a liar when he says you are sexy.
Okay honestly, I still don't know that I am sexy, but I am more likely to believe him when he says it now.
I have been thinking about it all and how I ended up there and there are so many paths that led me to that place. I could rehash them, but I'd prefer to move forward and actually make progress. So now I go walking almost everyday. I am also about to add weight training to my routine so I can be nice and buff and next week plan to talk to the doctor on base about the waiting list so that I can have my extra skin removed.
I hope you all are having a good week.
In Christ,

Monday, September 21, 2009

Another week begins

I know I've probably put this picture on here before, but it's just so cute.

This Thursday I am heading to Kansas City with Sheri. Her oldest son, Brayden is meeting with the special education teacher for Lawrence Virtual School for testing so he can stay. I am very proud of Sheri - she is sticking to her guns this time and it's beginning to pay off. I am also very proud of Brayden. He is working very hard, despite one of his younger brothers giving him grief.

I would love to tell you that I have some lovely ancedote for this post, but I don't. It's been very boring around here. I get in laps at the mall or zoo and then spend the day playing with Beka and getting her good and tired for nap time and then bed time.

Lizzie is doing well. She is finally settling in to a school routine, this is great because she was struggling. Oh and Mrs. Silveous asked to use us for a class project. She is working on completing her Master's degree in Special Education - she is a great teacher and we are so lucky to have her as Lizzie's teacher. She is a very lovely wonderful woman who is older, and extremely understanding and always willing to fight for Elizabeth. Just keep Lizzie in your prayers, because she is getting to the age where children become cruel and so she's learning how to face adversity and the cruelty of others - we are all working with her on it. Her speech therapist, Mrs. Silveous, Mrs. Parker and myself. We are teaching her to brush it off and not let them see her get upset. Keep your fingers crossed that it works.

So lately it's been a struggle. I am tired. I am tired of cleaning up messes that never seem to stay clean (emotionally and at home physically). I am tired of feeling like I work hard and it's in vain. I am tired of fighting this fight for Lizzie - even though she's learning to fight it herself, I still am in there fighting for her. But mainly, I am tired period. I hit 35 this year and it occurred to me that I thought I'd be a recording artist at this point in my life and I'd be doing other things. Of course, at 15 I didn't want to have children either - that didn't change until 10 yrs later. I didn't see myself married and a mom. This isn't to say that I am sorry I am married or a mom, it's just learning to let go of the dreams I had for myself and create new ones. One of them is raise the girls to be women of faith and who love God and serve Him. And yet it often feels like I am failing so miserably. Don't listen to me, I'm kind of in a funk and need a good bout of miles walked at the mall or Sedgwick County Park. I hope you all have good week.

In Christ,

Friday, September 11, 2009

Family Fun

Family Fun at the Zoo

There is no real rhyme or reason to these photos, it just kind of came together the way the blog program put them together. Here are Sheri and Davy Joy Trotter. We all met up at the Sedgwick County Zoo on Labor Day. We tried to meet up w/Mike and Lisa Aragon too, but by the time they made it, it was getting very crowded and I needed to take Beka home for a nap.

Here are Jonas Trotter, Elizabeth, and Saidra Trotter all sitting on the lion statue over near their exhibit. It's very neat actually. The lions had cubs last year.

Here is Lizzie over by the Zebra exhibit. She loves going to see the animals. Can you believe she is eight years old already?

Lizzie and Beka goofing around - I think this is over by the Orangutan and Chimp exhibit.

Elizabeth, Grammy, and Beka enjoying some snuggle and quality reading time together. Lizzie has really gotten into reading - she makes sure we read every night - even if it is very late. LOL.

Elizabeth and Beka together on the Orangutan statue - they really enjoy the monkeys and the gorillas a lot. Especially, Beka since it means I let her loose and allow her to walk like a big girl. My rule, if you don't stay with Mommy, then you go back in the stroller. It took a few times of me putting her in for running too far ahead of me but she learned I meant business. There is hope for this girl.

Beka at the statue - enough said.
We had a good Labor Day weekend. Sarah went with her friend Cheyenne to Kansas City for the entire weekend. Unbeknownst to her, she did not have school on Labor Day as she originally thought, so she was disappointed to discover that she didn't have to be home as soon as originally thought. She had a good time though and was ready to work again for the school.
So far, Sarah seems to like online school. I am searching for homeschool support groups though, so she will have some more social interaction. I am also looking into martial arts lessons for her, depending on how expensive they are, I agree with her therapist that we should put her in these to help her learn discipline and self defense. She is balking as usual, but this one isn't a choice.
Elizabeth is finally getting settled into school. We no longer have a morning battle royale over going to school We are all working with her about learning to not take it so personally when other kids don't want to be her friend of play with her. Sadly, she is learning a tough lesson and I will admit, there is a part of me that wants to punch the little turkey's but the other part of me, knows this is just one of life's lessons for her to learn. So I am working with her on responding with "so" if another child says something that isn't nice to her or "okay" if they say they don't want to play with her or be her friend. She has run into some real stinkpots this year - even her teacher, Mrs. Parker has told me that the kids are getting mean. It's not an always thing, but I long for the days when she was little and all the kids wanted to hang out and play no matter what differences there were, it was a person that they could have a good time and they all looked out for each other.
Rebekah, is a cheeky little bugger. She may just potty train herself before Chris gets home. She tells me she needs to go to the bathroom all the time now and today she showed signs that she knows when she needs to poop. While I should be excited by this, I am also a little aggravated - if she potty trains before Chris gets home, he will have successfully skipped out on potty training any of his kids! It's a little irksome to say the least. In his defense though it isn't like he woke up one day and said, "hey I'm gong to get myself deployed so I don't have to potty train Elizabeth/Beka (insert child's name at random)." So I can't be too upset, but it would be nice if he got to help with at least one and see the aggravation that comes with it, so he'll keep his smart aleck remarks to himself this time.
Well, we are done with the week and I am finishing up laundry and enjoying our new dining room table. We found one at DT's Outlet. They are the same people who sold us our refrigerator and our washer and dryers. We tend to go through more dryers than washers - I wonder why? Questions to ponder.
I hope you all have a good week.
In Christ,