Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Twelve years ago, I was sick as a dog, hugely pregnant and sleeping until time to go to the hospital to be induced with Elizabeth. It had been a rocky pregnancy, lots of Emergency Room visits, including one to make sure she was still alive and doing well. I was tired, I was sick and food was pretty much the last thing I wanted to think about or anything to help me stay hydrated. Each pregnancy is different, but this pregnancy was filled with a lot of nausea, pain and by the time I went in to be induced, I just wanted to no longer be pregnant. But my gall bladder came out, I figured out the workings of breast feeding and we found our rhythm, and something wonderful happened. I bonded with my baby, I instinctively knew when she wanted to eat, when she needed a change, we even sighed in unison. God knew I needed and Elizabeth needed that bond, it's what helped me know what she needed during those first few years when she wasn't very verbal. But it also meant I was too close to her to see what others could see - something was different. She made eye contact with Chris and I, but not with our friends or my mom, I was so thrilled to be a mom that it didn't occur to me that not all children talk in jargon or echo EVERYTHING. Then the time came when we realized something wasn't quite right and after some time to wrap our heads around it and grieve, we started fighting.
The little girl who could barely speak to others went to school, received speech therapy and suddenly became a talking machine. And this Summer I actually said something I never thought I would say to Elizabeth.
"Lizzie, Mommy needs you to play the quiet game. No talking for ten minutes."
And suddenly I was delighted.
Tomorrow Elizabeth turns twelve years old and tomorrow she enters her last year of childhood before entering adolescence. I'm not sure what God has in store for her or our family but I know that no matter what he has a plan for Lizzie and I can't wait to see his plans.