Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Worried. . . that was me until today. I was actually very worried. Last Fall I fell into a deep depression. I was homesick, I missed a good ole fashioned Kansas Fall and I missed my mom who I hadn't seen in a year. I was so worried, I prayed this Spring and asked God to either change my heart towards Washington or lay it on our hearts that He didn't intend for us to stay permanently in Washington (I'm still waiting on that answer by the way). My biggest fear was that I would fall into a huge funk or worse end up sick again like last Winter. We spent from October until March fighting one thing after the other.
Today though I had a breakthrough and I'm not so worried about Fall anymore. I realized I tend to be rock in crisis situations. I've always just be a get in there and get the job done, deal with the stuff that needs to be dealt with and worry about the other emotional stuff later kind of girl. Well last Fall later finally caught up with me. After three years of one crisis after another or one stressful situation after the other (both usually combined I might add), I finally had enough down time that it all caught up with me at once and suddenly that was it, I was D-O-N-E.
Chris realizing I needed to get away purposely planned so I could go visit my mom, but that wasn't possible, because she and Bud were out of town when I was going to go visit, so I went to Massachusetts instead and had a good time visiting with a friend of mine who had gone through Chris' second deployment with me (her ex husband had gone too, so we became battle buddies).
Somehow for me, it has always helped if I can put the pieces together. Unfortunately, life isn't always that simple, but this time, it all fell into place. Duh?! How had I not seen it before? It also explained why I was so sick last Winter. I wasn't in constant panic, or keep it together for everyone else mode and BAM! Parasympathetic overshoot, big time and I was sick as a dog. It impacted our homeschooling, it impacted my asthma, my emotional health, but it also gave me some down time. So well I fell and dislocated my knee cap and sprained my left knee badly, it was just one more reason to take some down time and rest.
Worried? Not as much as I was before. I still have plans to visit Leavenworth, WA to see their gorgeous fall foliage which was on MSN's top ten places to see for Fall foliage, but somehow I'm not dreading Fall as badly this year. It could be the vacation we have planned which includes Mom and Bud meeting us or it could be the excitement of visiting Leavenworth, but honestly, I don't care why, I'm just thrilled to not be in a funk or feel hopeless this coming Fall.
I hope you all have a great week.