For years I have considered taking a vacation. Chris has gone off on Army exercises, which isn't quite the same as a vacation, because he is sleep deprived and exhausted when he gets back. It's not a typical vacation - it's a vacation for one. Chris has even contemplated sending me, and I took him with me. And then I realized something.
I haven't been alone in so long, the idea of leaving Chris and the girls is kind of scary. I have been some one's mom and wife for almost 12 years and I don't know how to be someone else anymore. This is not a bad thing, except I get burned out and frustrated. I'm sure it is equally frustrating for Chris as well - he knows I am stressed, burned out and frustrated (at that moment in time) and wants to send me on a getaway, but it never quite happens. Not from lack of trying on his part either.
It isn't even that expensive. I could go to Arizona and see my best friend Jaymi, or Massachusetts and see my friend Maureen, but I realized today that I somehow end up sabotaging it, because what will I do with the alone time? The girls did Camp Fire this year and I had two hours in the apartment alone - it was weird and very quiet. I found I didn't really know what to do with myself.
If you could take a vacation where would you go? Would you go alone? What would you do with your free time? I am open to suggestions - because I am out of ideas. I think I need to figure something out soon. If for no other reason so I don't lose my imagination.
Have a good week.