As we've finished paying bills and purchasing groceries, some of which I had to put back because it cost too much this payday it occurred to me this is a good opportunity to make jokes about being broke.
Signs you are broker-than-broke:
1. You can't afford a free Jell-O brain mold even though it's free!
2. You consider recycling some things in your kitchen, like aluminum, containers used for butter, sour cream, but you have to draw the line at meat.
3. You would love to win the lottery but you don't even have a dollar to purchase a lottery ticket.
4. You make your kids share hand-me-downs and start to consider having them share underwear.
5. You are too broke to have both cars tagged and you are thankful, because at least that means you don't have to put gas in the second car.
6. You consider purchasing dental floss a luxury.
7. Even though your underwear is becoming quite sacred, you don't even think of buying new pairs, so you keep repairing them with needle and thread. This goes for socks too, by the way.
8. You use last nights meat to make today's lunch and recycle aluminum and start contemplating recycling toilet paper too (NO NOT REALLY!!!).
9. The idea of driving to church makes your car's gas tank groan at the same time as you and your wallet, and almost non-existent savings account.
10. Your menu for the month consists of multiple nights of things like hot dogs w/mac-n-cheese and Ramen noodles.
11. You consider buying pre-made ice tea as a luxury.
12. Going to a place called Taco Hut, Taco John's, or Taco Time is your new idea of a splurge on Mexican food.
13. You find yourself foregoing the good for you bread and buying the cheapest bread you can find - even (gasp) white bread.
14. You'd love to have Wonder Woman's invisible plane and begin to actually search for it.
15. You're idea of a big outing is going to the grocery store because you can't afford gas or bus fare.
16. Your yard looks nothing like Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Red Neck if" joke, because you can't even afford the clunky cars.
I hope you all have a good week.