Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Moving or Staying Put
I think I've been thinking about this a lot because we've been trying to decide if this is where we want to spend the next 20 years in Everett or not. At least we've been discussing it a lot lately.
Here is the questions I have. How do you stay in the same town, the same city, same state for your entire life? I know there are people who do it. Friends of mine here and in Oklahoma and Kansas have remained either in Washington or the previously mentioned states for their entire lives. So I know it happens, people die exactly where they were born every day. But HOW? How do you not go stir crazy? How do you stay put and never move out of your comfort zone? How do you stay in the exact same place without meeting new people, experiencing new things, going new places? I know it seems as if I am judging. I promise, that is not my intent. I do however, want to understand how people do it.
I like safety and contentment too. It was nice staying in Wichita, I was close to family. I was 20 minutes from my mom, aunt and uncle. When Dacia was living in Wichita, we got to see each other at least every two weeks. If I had the money we could drive either North or South three or four hours and see either my dad's side of the family or Matt & Meg and her family. It was nice. Being close to family is always nice. But so is growing and changing and figuring out how to get along without family there to help you and know you are standing on your own two feet because God has helped you to do so. And yet, I do want to know how do people do it - stay put in one place for their entire lives. I want to understand it, because I know so many who choose to live their lives this way. Of course, I also know a lot of people who choose to live their lives so that they move a lot or at least every so often and see different parts of the country and world.
I have friends who are volunteer missionaries in Germany right now. My Aunt Christine and Uncle Frank Dewey spent many years living in India and are now living in the Ukraine as missionaries. Although, they didn't really move around India a whole lot, and my cousins while having somewhat embraced adventure in their twenties are happily living in Texas and Oklahoma. I often wonder if Laura and Evan get bitten by the itch to move from time to time.
In fact, I lived in the same house and the same city (Wichita, KS) for over 10 years. AND IT DROVE ME NUTS!!!!!! So while Chris and I were sitting at McDonald's on Sunday and talking about what we hoped for the future and what dreams we had. And I love Everett, I love being in Washington, but I do not want to spend the next 23 years of my life living here. It would probably drive me insane. About every three to five years or so I get antsy. I think some of it is because even though we stayed in Yukon, OK for 10 years before moving to Great Bend, KS we still moved houses every so often. Then we moved to Great Bend and I loved seeing something new and trying something new. I loved moving in and out of the dorms during college and being able to change things up a bit. Moving to Catania, Sicily for 10 months was tough, because I had to say goodbye to my family and friends, but I loved the adventure of learning a new language, culture, new social mores, and learning to embrace that which is different and yet the same. My girls will most likely not have this itch.
Until we moved to Everett, our house in Wichita was the only home the girls had known. Although you never know. Sarah has moved a lot, and while now she has enjoyed staying in one place for an extended period of time, she is choosing to join the Air Force when she is done with college. This will mean moving as often as the military asks her too. There is a part of me that wouldn't mind going active duty. I wouldn't mind moving around to different countries, different parts of this country and helping our country maintain it's freedom at the same time.
Of course, some of me enjoying moving is starting over and a fresh start. No one knows your past, your life isn't an open book to people (unless you choose to make it that way) so maybe some of the enjoyment of moving is that no one knows me. No one can judge who I used to be and decide who they think I am unless I choose to tell them about my life. Of course, I'm pretty open and I have no terrible secrets, but in moving it is a sense of power. And when you move you can clean your "friend" house and slowing and painlessly distance yourself from those people who are not really your friends. It is appealing and it means you don't have to deal with their drama or garbage anymore, because tah-dah! YOU AREN'T THERE!!! As the one who most friends call when it all hits the fan, I can tell you; it is exhausting sometime. I have been known to not answer the phone from time to time. But when you move it's kind of like shedding your skin and a chance to grow and make new friends, who are hopefully less neurotic than the ones I left behind.
So do you move a lot? Are you a person who has always lived in one place your entire life? If so is it because opportunities never arose for you to move away or is it out of fear? I'd love to hear your answers.
Love in Christ,