Thursday, August 4, 2011

More Questions than Answers

We all see the stories. . . you know the ones I'm talking about. The new stories about parents who harm their children, drop them off at the side of a busy highway, or kill their children because they are angry. If you are like me, you cry and ask in your heart Lord, how can you let this happen to children?

When Beka was about six months old, I was doing research for my Ethics class. She was sleeping quietly next to me in her playpen and as I began my research I stumbled across a story of a small infant who at only a month old had been tortured and harmed in ways too horrific to put on here, because it still makes me cry. My poor husband came home to find a wife who was holding and nursing his little daughter and bawling and promising her that Mommy would never do anything so horrible to her. If I hadn't needed a computer for school he might have contemplated taking the computer away from me. At least until my hormone levels had tapered off a little more - because a nursing mom still has a ton of hormones raging around.

Sometimes though, we abuse our children without realizing it. We abuse them with our actions or words, or worse with our poor choices. So many parents do not stop and think and realize that their poor choices also impact their children. Whether it is a poor dating choice, spending money unwisely, or quitting your job without having another one lined up (notice I said, quitting your job - this is not the same as losing your job to lay-offs or a company moving). Whoever came up with the little saying, Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me is a liar. Sometimes our words can tear a child or loved one apart. Sometimes our choices tear our children apart, whether it be a small choice to not do the grocery shopping that day, even if there is no food in the refrigerator or choosing to bring alcohol home, it hurts our children. I see it a lot these days, our poor choices negatively impacting our children and often times because of pride parents who refuse to realize that they have done something wrong.

Even now I shake my head and wonder what are people thinking. Then I wonder why so many people can't believe I am for sterilization of those not fit to be parents. Civil rights? What about a child's right to be safe, warm, loved and protected? What about a child's right to not go to bed that a parent is going to wake them up drunk and abusive? What about the little boy or girl who lays in bed at night waiting for their parent to come in a sexually abuse them, or worse yet, the child who gets sold to human traffickers to supply a parent with money for drugs and alcohol?! And yet at the same time, I see government restrictions on parents and their forms of discipline.

So here are my questions: Why is it some people make choices that hurt their children and seem oblivious? Why is it some people who grow up in abusive homes grow up to not abuse their children while others don't break the cycle of abuse? Why is it we think our children are our property to harm as we wish and please? But more importantly why is it some people have a great level of self awareness while others go through life completely oblivious to how their actions negatively or positively impact others? If you have answers, I'd love to hear them so please share with us all.

I hope you all have a good week.

Love in Christ,
Maureen

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