Life is full of change. In fact, it is one of the things you can count on in this life that is will always be changing for you. Beka is good example of this - when we'd given up hope of having another child and rested in the joy of the blessings God had given us. Suddenly, a positive pregnancy test.
The year 2010 brought a lot of change and upheaval. Chris returned from deployment, we have said goodbye to some wonderful people - some who had been ill for a long time and some who their loss was sudden and completely unexpected. Those latter losses left us devastated and asking questions. At 36 years old I found myself facing my own mortality again and suddenly I realized that in the joy of finally finding the man that God had planned for me all along and having a family that for a brief while I'd forgotten that I too am mortal and that death does come when we least expect it.
The past year we've faced a change in income. We suddenly found ourselve eligible for food assistance and health care for the girls courtesy of our government. If you have never had to face that experience. . . it is a pride buckling experience. After years of Chris and I being able to provide for our girls, we had to acknowledge that we needed help. While it was difficult to go to the government and ask for help, it has meant we are able to breath a little easier. I don't worry about how we will take care of our daughters - especially, Elizabeth who needs her medication, Strattera that helps her focus in school and she is now beginning to read at a pretty good rate; or her asthma and allergy medications that allow us and her to breathe easier and it helps pay for her opthamologist bills - because she struggles with amblyopia; an affiction that causes her left eye to see significantly worse than her stronger right eye. We are slowly coming to the end of that road with patching and working on improving her vision - I am thankful that God made it possible for her to continue to receive treatment that we could not afford otherwise w/o health insurance of some kind.
We have learned a lot in 2010 and as 2011 begins. We learned that while we missed the ability to do some things that we were able to enjoy the simple things in life as well. This year has been a year for Chris and Sarah to grow closer. Prior to his deployment, Sarah was angry with Chris. She was angry that her middle school schedule overlapped with his second shift (3-11:30 p.m.) schedule in such a way that they were two ships passing in the night. This past year has been a time for them to bond, grow closer and learn about each other and both of them are the better for it. Chris has begun to learn how Elizabeth works, how to lower his voice and that he is very tall to her very tiny stature. Beka has enjoyed being able to cuddle with him and spend time with him - in fact, tonight I'll probably have to move her back to her bed again since she hasn't felt well lately.
While this year has begun with Chris still unemployed, but still looking, we have both sensed that God has something planned for us. In the month of January, Chris has met with Boeing once and has an interview with them again tomorrow for a different position. We also know that we plan to do what we can so he can go and take his Airframe and PowerPlant License which will increase his marketability a great deal.
This past week I have spent sleeping off and on. What I assumed were allergies at first, turned out to be influenza. Yippee for me. Worse, yet Beka and Chris both became ill with it as well. So I spent a nearly sleepless night last night alternating giving Beka ibuprofen and tylenol when one would wear off until her fever broke this morning sometime. And this morning I spent talking with Beka's preschool teacher, who is very pleased with Beka's progress. However, there are concerns about behavior issues - it is the hazard of growing up with a special needs sibling and being the baby in the family too. So preschool is absolutely a necessity for Rebekah. She needs it to help her learn how to play with other children and how to share her toys and that she cannot always have her own way.
So this is where we are at this point in time. We don't know anything . . . not about a job, not about the future, and not about where we will be in the next year. But oddly, I am okay with that, I am resting in God that His plan for our life is bigger than our hopes for our life.
Have a good week.
Love in Christ,