Today has been one of those days. You all know the days I'm talking about. The day that isn't great but isn't completely horrid either. These are the days though, where I think that children really should go home from the hospital with you with instruction manuals.
Come on, admit it, you've thought the same thing too. "Why didn't this doggoned kid come with a manual?" You know the manual I'm talking about. The one that says things, like "don't give your child a fork when away from the table because they will of course find the nearest outlet and stick said fork in it." Or "the day you want to sleep in is the same day that your two year old will decide that she knows better and you must wake up well before you wish to." Little gems of wisdom that we as parents really should share with new parents, or those we know who are contemplating having children, for the express purpose of either informing them what on earth they've gotten themselves into (Because hey it's already too late if they are already expecting, right?) or to frighten them away from the idea all together.
I love my children, I truly do, but there are days where I wonder how they are going to make it to graduating from high school because they kids do some asinine things. They do things like run behind your car when you are preparing to back up and scare you half to death. They talk to strangers, some of whom are very nice people, but others who are not so very nice. They play hide and seek in the mall and think it's funny to hear you going slowly insane because you can't find them and are worried that someone has taken them out of the mall and out of your life forever. They also do things like decide they need to try to shock you so that your already greying hair will go white that much faster. I am convinced that Mark Twain was a bright man with his idea about putting kids in a barrel at 12 yrs of age and giving them a hole for air and then plug it when they turn 18 yrs old. This was obviously spoken by a man who had raised teenagers.
So here is my list of why's for the day. Why is it that as soon as you leave the store or parking lot, your child announces they must use the bathroom? Why, once you've found the perfect shampoo that does great things for your hair and by the way costs way more than most shampoos, do your children decide to unscrew the cap and let it wash the bathroom floor or bathtub basin instead of your hair? Why is it that children always need a drink of water, a story, and have to go to the bathroom when they didn't need to do these things five minutes before bedtime? Or better still, why is it when you finally think your child has made progress, you find yet another hurdle to overcome?! And last but so not least, why is it when you think kids aren't listening they are, but when you want them to listen they don't? These are just a few questions that often cross my mind.
I know you all have your own list of why's and I hope you find the answers to yours, because I still haven't figured out the answers to mine. Good luck and God speed.